I watched recently a video by Tony Robbins, the 6 times bestselling author who holds businesses with combined sales exceeding $6 billion annually. It dawned on me what I and so many others experience. We have been told the right college degree, job, car and partner will make us happy. Indeed, congratulations to us, we mastered the science of success. We got a degree, a good job and a relationship, but then, why are we still unhappy, feel stuck and stagnant?
We haven’t mastered the science of fulfillment as Tony Robbins explained. You can earn a billion dollars if you are after financial success, and still be unhappy. I should have known it better. When I observed something in my many years in the humanitarian sector, it is this: people can live in difficult situations and be happy. They laugh, and enjoy themselves around a fire in a remote location in South Sudan, while I am busy sitting there with my own thoughts. This is because we have not mastered the science of fulfillment. You can have both, success and fulfillment if you understand the how, which is unconventional as no one taught us this.
The last three years, I discovered the science behind a fulfilling life because I didn’t want to live a life that felt stuck and stagnant to me despite the success I had. The first step is to become aware. What does this actually mean? You stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility and charge of your own life. Because if you do not like the results you get in your life, you need to change something about yourself. That is a hard pillow to swallow at first. But it will only get better from there. Because what you get is this: you don’t get easily stressed out anymore. You do not feel the urge to fix or change other people. You let go of some beliefs and values that do not serve you anymore. You realize your patterns that have been largely adopted because of how you grew up but are no longer relevant anymore. Becoming aware of how your thoughts created a reality for you is powerful. With small steps, you now can take different decisions and actions. You can live healthier, put more boundaries and have more open conversations with friends and your partner.
Over the next months and years, life will feel more easy and relaxed. You suddenly have more energy because you catch yourself with your negative thoughts that only drain your energy. You will see the beauty in small things. Your freshly brewed coffee in the morning, the flowers on a tree, the woman who lets you go first or the colleague who stops to have a nice conversation despite busy schedules. The secret to this sounds too simple but at first, difficult to achieve: you are simply present rather than letting your mind race to the past or future. Observe your thought. How often do you mull over something that is long over? Or think about something in the future, you are trying to control, when in reality, you cannot. Drag your mind into the present when simply looking around you and engaging with the people in front of you rather than looking at your phone. Try it out for a few minutes, a day, a week or a month, and see the small changes in how you feel. Birds flying high. You know how I feel. Sun in the sky. You know how I feel. Breeze driftin’ on by. You know how I feel. It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new life. For me
and I’m feeling good. I’m feeling good.