I always thought that I work hard. I served in various positions in emergencies around the world, where the word weekend, hobby and leisure time did not exist. I was quickly promoted and raised through the ranks until I worked at the executive office. I made it! All the hard work paid off, but this was not the case. I was overwhelmed instead. Now three years down the line, I look back at who I was then and who I am now, and the difference is stunning.
Today, I wake up at 5am in the morning and go for a walk, journal, and meditate. I want to spend my day doing something fulfilling and connecting with friends. There is almost nothing that really stresses me anymore. I have much more energy than I ever had before because my mind is not occupied anymore with my thoughts swirling around.
What I have done is unconventional, but I believe it is the only way, we can truly live a life that allows us to thrive, and experience meaning. I started with myself and took responsibility for my inner state and what I thought. You need to view your brain as your most important organ that you need to feed with good thoughts. You should be in the driving seat, not the other way around. To look inside yourself and understand your deep-seated emotions can be painful at first, but pain will go away. It feels counterintuitive as you learned to push pain away, but this is the door you need to open. You spent subconsciously a lot of energy to built up your defence system, to push your pain away. But when your mind becomes less occupied with your past and future, and the pain goes away, you have space and energy that frees up. Your pain is a memory of the past, something that is no longer valid for your life right now, yet, it drives your actions and thoughts. You dont want to run your life on autopilot.
Once you go through that shift, you will start noticing other things as well. Covid-19 has brought many changes to the fore, most importantly, it has shifted our attention to our health, family, friends and little things that bring us joy. While we continue to live in a time where many of us still define our value based on our paycheck, title or even influence over others, Covid-19 can take all of that. It made us realize that it doesn’t mean anything and that we were after the wrong thing after all the work we had put into. When we suddenly look at our inner pain and the stories that come with it, that we told ourselves, a weight i lifted. We don’t need to fix anything, or become someone. We are perfect the way we are with all our flaws and imperfections but we also evolve. We are not the same person we were 20 years ago. With this mindset, we can truly live a balanced life. It doesn’t come from a job that pays for you to have two great vacations a year to relax only to feel stressed the rest of the year.
We need to start thinking of ourselves as whole human beings. There is no private and professional life. There is no stress and time off. We should bring our whole selves to work. When we are whole, and do not have to play roles and be different, we can fully thrive. But this only comes at the beginning of an inner journey to yourself that is never ending. You should join me on this beautiful path to ourselves. Take a pen out and write down what stresses you and why. With every why, dig deeper until you no longer have an answer. Look at what you wrote down and the meaning of it for your life moving forward. What do you need to do differently? What do you need to change? This is the key to open the door.
