The self-development industry is the fastest growing sector worldwide. Companies, organisations, and individuals are investing 9,9 billion of dollars every year in themselves and Covid-19 only accelerated this trend. It is estimated to grow every year by 13,2 billion. This is a massive market. While I am a big fan myself and invest in self-development and growth all the time – there is literally no year where I don’t attend some online course, training or language class – I do at times get to the point where I can tired of constantly improving myself and this is what I want to talk about today.
Self-development and growth are normal. Think about yourself when you were 10, 20, 30, 40 or later, were you the same person with the same priorities? Probably not although we often think that we are. There is only one Marika and I am who I am. I don’t change yet, we do. We always evolve and grow, and this is also what makes us fundamentally happy and fulfilled. Think about the happiest moments in your life? Was it when you went for the 20 times to your favorite bar or when you did something new? When relationships don’t seem to work out, its because we feel we are stuck in routine, old patterns and not moving forward. We desire growth. Its innate to us humans to want to evolve. But there is a dark side to it, and it has to do with our inner worth. Now you will ask how though? Don’t pull the psychological card. Stay for me a moment. I know you might feel some resistance when reading this. When we do it out of interest and enjoying the course because we learn something, then that’s great. But when we do it out of ticking a box, getting over it, having to do it, then something is off. Listen to yourself and the words you use, that gives you a hint. We don’t do it, because we enjoy learning but because we are not worthy yet and need to improve ourselves to become worthy. When I have that certificate, I will be good enough. When I have lost so many pounds, then I will feel good. Your happiness is postponed to the future and your self-worth hinges on external factors. No matter how many pounds you will lose, courses you will attend or meditation classes you attend, you don’t address the root cause. Marissa Piers, UKs number one therapist, who counselled celebrities around the world, advises that we need to heal the emotions we have to feeling unworthiness rather than looking externally for solutions. We need to tell us every day, that we are good enough and we don’t need to fix anything to be worthy. We need to surround ourselves with people who are good for us and not tear us down. Before you click the “buy” button for another course or class, tell yourself how great you are by wanting to learn and gain more knowledge, and see if you still need it.
