How to find your purpose

Humans have searched for meaning for centuries. Why are we here? What meaning does my life have? More and more people want to live a purposeful life, being happy and fulfilled. We want it all. We also have been told that we can have it all. And this rings true. Our parents, grandparents and generations before them have fought for basic rights and we are now reaping the fruits of their labor. Now its time to focus on us and get everything: the dream life, house, car, partner and job. But when you get older, and you achieved at least some part of those items on your wish list, nothing is further from the truth. We have been told a lie. The truth is: nothing outside of us is ever fulfilling. Nothing. But I heard this sentence before. What does this even mean? To search for happiness when I am in a bad mood, and I am disappointed at something that I didn’t achieve, how can I ever achieve happiness? I was there as well and I didn’t understand what this sentence meant, you need to find love and search inside of yourself. What is this “inside of us”. How can I learn “to love myself”. From a neuroscience perspective, when we learn day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, to talk to ourselves more lovingly, more compassionate and uplifting, we re-wire our brain. Observe your thoughts and catch yourself when something didn’t work out, what thoughts come up:”Of course, this was going to happen. I am not good enough. I will never succeed.” and shift it to:”I will learn from this situation. What can I do better next time? What lessons can I learn? This is an opportunity for me to grow more.” When you learn how to switch your talk around, you will recognize, how your emotions inside of you change. They are more positive, make you compel more to take action and feel more relaxed. Just listen to the greatest speeches. They are never putting people down. They are never disempowering. They do talk about reality and changes that need to happen, but they leave you inspired to take action. This is how you communicate to yourself. We need to recognise reality for what is and talk compassionately to us, to change and take action. Negative self-talk creates negative emotions and leaves you stuck. To change your thought patterns require transformation of these very thoughts from: “I am not good looking. I am fat and lazy.” to “I care about how I look and eat healthy. I deserve to be in a fit body and exercise regularly.” Pay attention when you switch your thoughts around, how you feel now. Now, how is this linked to finding your purpose. If you attach your purpose to something outside of you, it will be a tough journey because every time when you do not achieve your goal, you will feel down. I need to have this job, this type of company mission and these type of people around me. Its again external. Instead, become your purpose and live that type of life: volunteer, start writing your blog, or a new hobby, join a book club. If you join a company to fulfil your own purpose, you will become frustrated over time, if progress is slow or if not all employees are behind the company’s goal. Your purpose as in my case is to avert famine and hunger and I can fulill that purpose with joining the UN, a NGO, volunteering in my free time, dont waste food, donate, read books about it, blog, or speak about it. Its the mission first and not the company, the position, or the people you work with.