A friend of mine texted me and asked me if I wanted to take his lesson that he paid for already for his breath work session. My first thought was like breath work and you are paying for it? Seriously? On second thoughts, I was like: “Cool it’s for free. I am trying it out.” My curiosity was stronger, and my German culture kicked in. if its for free, who cares if it is useful or not.
I laid down on my couch and the trainer was giving basic instructions. First, we started with breathing in through my noise. In and out for 10 minutes until we switched to breathing in and out through my mouth, which was more difficult as it was unusual to me, and my mouth got dry. But the biggest challenge was something entirely different. One could have said:” Oh well, you just lie on the sofa like you are relaxing and taking a quick nap.” But my mind was killing me. My inner restlessness came up and wanted me to get up and do something. It was so hard to stay still and the time was not passing. A group of researchers did a study with men and women to chose between two options: get an electroshock or sit still and alone for 15 minutes. Guess what the outcome was and what the gender dimension is? The large majority preferred electro shocks over sitting still and it was a larger percentage among men than among women. Why do we perceive sitting with us in stillness so torturous? Our thoughts create emotional pain that we want to run away from. That’s why distractions in our modern society work so well. Facebook allows us to never feel lonely, to be liked in an instant instead of diving into the pain of feeling lonely and unworthy. It satisfies an emotion such as pain and provides instant relief from it. That’s how we are wired, it’s a survival mechanism from our brain that keeps us safe from lions and snakes. But I will tell you what happened 15 minutes into the breath work. Something magical happens that those experience who actively seek to sit still in meditation. Your inner restlessness and pain disappear into the dark night. They walk away, as quick, and silently as they entered your brain. After 30 minutes of breath work, I was glowing. I was happy and content with the world and full of energy, not knowing what happened.
When we focus on our breath, we focus on the present moment. We let go of our obsessions in our mind about the present and future. We become content with who and where we are or at a minimum accept the current state of affairs. But the continued wandering of our thoughts to painful moments that only exist in the past, from memory, is what keeps us stuck and unhappy. Trust me, I have been there too, but I have come to a point now, where I can’t even remember the last moment, I felt deeply frustrated and angry in my life. I still have moments that pose challenges and old thought patterns come up, but I am quick to catch them now and turn them around. Whether it is through breath work, meditation, yoga or going for a morning walk, stillness lets pain come to the surface. Don’t push it away, become curious and listen to the story it tries to tell you. It’s a lesson you need to learn. Nothing more and nothing less.
