As crazy as it sounds, but I always went after what I wanted to do. We often think its not possible, and maybe many things do not work out, and not the way we planned it. Now, at the age of 38, I smile at the thought that I was planning my life like a CV, linear. But I didn’t get into that American high school in Paris. I didn’t get into a university I wanted to but ended up back in Germany before I went abroad again. In hindsight, none of these challenges mattered for me to achieve my goal: to help the most vulnerable communities around the world. We think that when our life is not linear, and get frustrated when things don’t work, that something is off. But this is far from true. Its against the law of physics. The universe consists of one random event after another, and these events are in disorder. We are much less in control as we think. Life is not supposed to work out all the time. Once you realize this, you become more relaxed, less attached to your goals. This means you forget about your goals. I decided sometime back to create videos on my YouTube channel and now start my own podcast. I constantly remind myself that I am not after likes and fame, but if its helpful for people and enjoy doing it. What happens when you enjoy what you do, and people find it useful rather you doing it in your own interest? I think we all know the answer. This is why detachment is so important and its also the only reasonable thing to do. We have no control over life, and this is a hard pill to swallow because we have been told that we can control our life: by studying, by working hard, by getting married, life will be good. But in my own country Germany, 40% of marriages get divorced. Would you start something and use it as your path for happiness when you knew it had a 40% failure? We worked hard but Covid-19 swiped away our job.
When you give up control and let go, something unexpected happened to me. I finally felt more satisfied within, less attached and were more present to enjoy the moment. I recently was at an airport on my way to Paris. Airports always triggered me. I got always mad at some security staff that wanted to open only my bag, that asked me extra questions or threw away my deo when I forgot the 200ml regulations. At the counter, the lady told me that I am booked three times, but the flight is overbooked, and I am on a waiting list. I could have gone mad, but I didn’t react. The flight then was an hour late. I sat down and was happy to have time for a coffee and my book. In Paris, I took the wrong bus and had to pay for a taxi at the end to get to the hotel almost close to midnight, missing my friend and our dinner plans. What a disaster. Or sh…happens. Nothing you can do about it. Its your choice. I am not saying, you should complain to the airline or have a closer look at the public transport system next time, but in those moments, I try to let go. It’s the only way to live. We truly have less control than we think even we built our entire environment around the desire to control institutions to regulate our life, traffic lights to avoid accidents, insurances, and the like.
